Maybe it’s the way I look, or the way I stand, or how I act, or how I’m not able to articulate what I want to say, so I ramble. Not sure, no one has ever mentioned anything to me. But then again, what are they supposed to say…to an introvert? “Hey, introvert, cat got your tongue?”
I do know, I’m not alone. There are many of us floundering in a crowd. Or sometimes at a conference or a party. Maybe I should hold a sign that asks, “Introvert? Come and join me in the awkwardness?”
Someone once wrote, “If you would get to know me, you may find me interesting, loving, caring, and somewhat funny.” Oh wait, that someone is me. Knee slapper.
I found myself in many of those awkward moments at a place I worked. I didn’t fit in with what they considered the in-crowd. I wasn’t “like” them. They never gave me a chance. Only a handful did. For that, I’m actually thankful. God knew I needed those few in my life who “got” me and accepted me for who I am. I’ll forever be grateful to them. Believe it or not I learned a ton from those who pretty much shunned me, gossiped about me and quite frankly were rude. I would never treat anyone that way…ever.
Sometimes at churches too. One would think church would be a safe place. Where everyone accepts all types. No matter how old or young, women can be cliquey.
Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines a “clique” as: a narrow exclusive circle or group of persons; especially: one held together by common interests, views, or purposes.
So, church? Where common interests and purpose should be about the love for Christ and His church…His people? I’m not saying all churches. But I have had some uncool experiences.
When I see these cliques, I run as fast as I can. They are not for me. I don’t even bother with them. They may not intend to be hurtful, but for a sensitive, shy introvert, it can put anxiety in overload. Steer clear the mind says. A total sense of shielding the heart. Not worth it.
Sounds a lot like a rejection issue, right? In a way, I suppose it is. The difference being, knowing the difference.
I’m blessed to have family and close friends who love me and weave me into their fold, no matter what. And I, them. Blessed beyond measure.
Writing this wasn’t about woe is me, the pitiful introvert. I’m writing this because I know I’m not alone. And, I want you to know God loves you as you are, exactly where you are in life. He made you perfectly—You! He’s not telling us to “fit in” everywhere we go, but to pray for everyone we meet. Whether they know you or not. I do a lot of praying. ~smile. There may be pain behind someone’s smile, who needs your genuine smile. They may be going through something unbearable and just trying to get through the day. Everyone has a story not all are aware of. Introverts usually keep it all wrapped up tight and cozy inside.
So, the next time I/we go to a place where there is a crowd, smile, lift your head high and know you are a Daughter of a King. He will never leave you. He loves you right where you are. And why wouldn’t He? He formed you before you…were you.
We don’t fit into another’s mold. We aren’t borrowed Jello molds. We are, who we are. Embrace that. Right?