Fitting In…Or Not, The Choice is Yours

I’m more of an introvert, sometimes shy. Unless I know someone, I pretty much stand around and observe. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not from lack of trying.

Maybe it’s the way I look, or the way I stand, or how I act, or how I’m not able to articulate what I want to say, so I ramble. Not sure, no one has ever mentioned anything to me. But then again, what are they supposed to say…to an introvert? “Hey, introvert, cat got your tongue?”

I do know, I’m not alone. There are many of us floundering in a crowd. Or sometimes at a conference or a party. Maybe I should hold a sign that asks, “Introvert? Come and join me in the awkwardness?”

Someone once wrote, “If you would get to know me, you may find me interesting, loving, caring, and somewhat funny.” Oh wait, that someone is me. Knee slapper.

I found myself in many of those awkward moments at a place I worked. I didn’t fit in with what they considered the in-crowd. I wasn’t “like” them. They never gave me a chance. Only a handful did. For that, I’m actually thankful. God knew I needed those few in my life who “got” me and accepted me for who I am. I’ll forever be grateful to them. Believe it or not I learned a ton from those who pretty much shunned me, gossiped about me and quite frankly were rude. I would never treat anyone that way…ever.

Sometimes at churches too. One would think church would be a safe place. Where everyone accepts all types. No matter how old or young, women can be cliquey.

Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines a “clique” as: a narrow exclusive circle or group of persons; especially: one held together by common interests, views, or purposes.

So, church? Where common interests and purpose should be about the love for Christ and His church…His people? I’m not saying all churches. But I have had some uncool experiences.

When I see these cliques, I run as fast as I can. They are not for me. I don’t even bother with them. They may not intend to be hurtful, but for a sensitive, shy introvert, it can put anxiety in overload. Steer clear the mind says. A total sense of shielding the heart. Not worth it.

Sounds a lot like a rejection issue, right? In a way, I suppose it is. The difference being, knowing the difference.

I’m blessed to have family and close friends who love me and weave me into their fold, no matter what. And I, them. Blessed beyond measure.

Writing this wasn’t about woe is me, the pitiful introvert. I’m writing this because I know I’m not alone. And, I want you to know God loves you as you are, exactly where you are in life. He made you perfectly—You! He’s not telling us to “fit in” everywhere we go, but to pray for everyone we meet. Whether they know you or not. I do a lot of praying. ~smile. There may be pain behind someone’s smile, who needs your genuine smile. They may be going through something unbearable and just trying to get through the day. Everyone has a story not all are aware of. Introverts usually keep it all wrapped up tight and cozy inside.

So, the next time I/we go to a place where there is a crowd, smile, lift your head high and know you are a Daughter of a King. He will never leave you. He loves you right where you are. And why wouldn’t He? He formed you before you…were you.

We don’t fit into another’s mold. We aren’t borrowed Jello molds. We are, who we are. Embrace that. Right?

Be blessed.

Posted in Miscellaneous Thoughts, Weekly Inspiration Tagged with: , , , , ,
14 comments on “Fitting In…Or Not, The Choice is Yours
  1. Kelly says:

    My heavens, we’re twins! 🙂 I love you, Sister, because you love me, just as I am. I don’t have to be something I’m not…comfortable in certain situations. I am a work in progress and loved by Jesus exactly as I am, and where I’m at. Your writing just confirms that for me, Chrissy. There are more women out there who aren’t always comfortable in social settings, in need of a good friend, or wrestling through life, and I hope to meet them and grow closer.

    I was recently talking to the Lord about “where I fit in,” and how I’m willing to step out and take some risks (e.g. Women’s Bible Study), even though that is way out of my comfort zone because I feel like the “odd woman out.” I really don’t want to be a part of a group that “doesn’t go deep,” but belong to one that is truly interested in the depth of pain and sorrow around them, and how they can come alongside each other. So, I’m hoping to find a group I fit in with, can go deep with, and bond together.

    But even if I don’t find one, I’m not alone, because it will always be “the Lord and me…simplicity.”

    Love you!

    • Chrissy D says:

      Kelly, Thank you for putting your heart out there. God has definitely made us all unique…thankfully.

      I’ll be praying for you and will come alongside in your guidance for a deep study…fit for you.

      Blessings to you. ?

  2. Dina says:

    I’m an extroverted introvert. I can fit nicely into a crowed room and make conversation if need be, but all the while my soul is screaming inside because it truly is introverted.

    I used to hate it, and wished I were 100% extroverted until I embraced the fact that for whatever reason God created me to BE an introvert. Now I view life differently and it no longer bothers me.

    • Chrissy D says:

      I always admire the extroverts. Being shy forever…until you get to know me, that is, can be a blessing and/or a curse. God made us all unique. He’s funny like that. Thank you for visiting me here. God Bless you!

  3. Bonnie Skrzynski says:

    I don’t think anyone has ever referred to me as introverted, but I see the clique thing all the time. I’ve never liked them, and still don’t. So I stay away from them. What amazes me though is that I can understand cliques in high school (too young to know better) but senior cliques? Rediculous!

    • Chrissy D says:

      Yes, Bonnie, they still exist,no matter how old. I so appreciate you stopping by here. God bless you!

  4. Emily says:

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this!! Oh how you made me laugh with…”hey introvert, cat got your tongue?”….

    What a wonderful encouraging piece! I’m an extrovert introvert…yeah, go figure!

    I just love you!

    • Chrissy D says:

      Hee hee! I love how you found that line funny. Thankfully!! 🙂 Thank you for “your” encouraging words. Much love, hugs and blessings to you!

  5. Arlene Cameron says:

    This piece totally resonated with me! I have experienced cliques first hand! Like you, I stay far away from them!

    • Chrissy D says:

      Arlene, I bet many of us have experienced this. It’s sad, to me. But we just walk stronger in the long run. Thank you so much for visiting me on my blog. Blessings!

  6. Becky says:

    Nicely done my friend. Love this piece. As for myself I am an introvert with the ability to be an extrovert when needed. I am a blended model. 😎

    • Chrissy D says:

      Thank you, Becky. To be able to both, is wonderful, indeed. Thank you for visiting me on my blog. God’s blessings!

  7. Stacy says:

    I shared this post on my Facebook page. Beautifully written.

    • Chrissy D says:

      Thank you very much, Stacy. I appreciate you visiting my blog and leaving this encouraging comment. God’s blessings.

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