Have you ever felt “invisible” in a crowded room? Or, have you been left out of a celebratory milestone of a loved one, you thought you were close with? Maybe you have felt your voice was being drowned out over those louder.
Yes. Me too. Many, many times.
Not long ago, I attended a weekend conference with over 200 people.
Three of us gals traveled together, roomed together, sat together.
It was our first time—together.
The road trip consisted of get-to-know each other on a personal level. One would ask a question, and it applied to all of us, each given a chance to answer. It wasn’t long before we realized we all had the same issue—we are invisible around many.
We decided there were two introverts (me being one) and one ambivert.
Comments like, “I’ve met people three or four times and they still don’t know my name.” Or, “I’ll sit in an empty row and not a soul will sit next to me.”
That started what would be a hilarious weekend.
It isn’t always—rarely ever is, a funny topic. Nope, it’s real.
When in a group setting or a meeting, there may be those strong—extremely strong personalities. They seem to love hearing themselves talk. Timid, shy or introverts, don’t stand a chance with these types. The inner voice is screaming, “LET ME SPEAK!” Yet, the shyness, says, “Whatever, I wouldn’t be able to anyway.”
Even at the conference, when an audience participation question was asked, I stood there, with my hand in the air, and those all around me were picked. Yep. Like that.
I started considering myself a, “wall-weed.” Kind of like the wall-flower…only I would travel around the edge of a room observing, for fear if I tried to speak, I’d once again either get drowned out, or get looks like I have two heads. Seriously.
It’s taken me, well, my whole life to realize God has gifted me with hearing—to be a listener, not a speaker. Unless, by chance you know me, actually, maybe not even then. There’s always someone who has to have a better story / experience. You know, a bigger fish-type person. It just has to be okay. Evidently, they need to, so let them. Otherwise…oh wait, there is no otherwise.
Even in close relationships, where you think you should feel safe, wanted and respected. It’s not always the case. There may be times when you are left out of a gathering, a milestone or exciting news. Whether it was intentional or not, it’s not a great feeling. More like feeling as though you are chopped liver. No consoling. No excuses. It’s just…why? And then, it’s on them, not me. Right? It’s their loss. The self-pep-talks. And, you know what, it’s all good. Because you know what is important in your life. We can’t let petty matters get us down.
We can’t change others. We can only change our own reactions. I know, it’s cliché. But it’s true. We can choose to feel ignored or insignificant. Or, we can choose to be the bigger, more mature person and just let it go. Be the beautiful you God made you. After all, He made you, He listens to you, and He sure does love you.
Wall-weed and all!
Above all, put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts. Colossians 3:14-15 (NKJV)
Have a beautiful day. This yellow rose is for you.
Chrissy Drew
